For right now anyway, alhumdullilah

Your Depression Level: 16%

You aren't depressed, and you probably already knew that. Like everyone else, you have ups and downs. But unlike most people, you've mastered keeping your mood stable.

Are You Depressed?

May Allah continue to strengthen me in taqwaa, iman, and subr with ease, AAMEEN.

Quick Stop

As- salaamu Alaykum, sweeties. Alhumdullilah the boys and I are well. I've been checking in and commenting when the time permits. I love you all, my sisters (and brothers) in Islam whoever you are. Keep your heads' up and don't let the dunyah get the best of you, enjoy it as much as possible and strive for the best in this life as well as the hereafter. Please keep me in your duas and I of course will keep you all in mines insha-Allah. Be back soon insha-Allah, ma salaama.

He's Back

Al humdullilah, my husband is back and safe. I am so happy he is back because I missed him tremendously. I was going through it a little bit, though. I'm thankful that he's back but I've been feeling slightly deprived. I sometimes feel like my husband doesn't give me enough attention. He does pay some attention to me, but because he spends a significant amount of his time away from us I feel like he should make an extra effort to make me as well as the boys feel loved and missed and wanted. I do understand that he has other obligations some of which has to do with the well being of the boys and I and others that don't and so this may cause him to be tired and exausted at times. Which I understand happens; at the same time this is what comes with providing and maintaining a family or in his case families. Which he does well, masha-Allah. Nevertheless I expect a little something extra at the least when it comes to us. Maybe I'm asking for too much but this is the way I feel. Our time together is limited; when he's not here no one else is here to take his place. We just have to be patient until it is our turn again.

I tried explaining to him how I feel without turning it into an argument because that is what I wanted to avoid. So I calmly began telling him how I felt. Alhumdullilah it didn't turn into an argument, but I'm not sure if he quite got what I was trying to express through all the tears. I tried so hard not to cry but I couldn't help it. Alot of times I'll just keep my feelings to myself to avoid fitnah. And since our time is already limited I didn't want to annnoy him, frustrate him, make him feel bad or make the mood awkward during our time together. All I wanted was to make him aware of how I felt. He didn't say much, just stared and listened; which is good, I guess???

He said he didn't feel well and I was mentally exausted, so we called it a night and to went to bed. While the mood did become slightly awkward neither of us were upset or angry, wal alhumdullilah. So I guess you could say it ended on a good note. Insha-Allah he understood some of if; not all of what I was trying to convey. And honestly I'm not sure if I expect him to understand me completely. After all we play two very different roles. He's the husband and I am the wife.

Random thought of mines : Alhumdullilah, Allah is truly merciful in all that he decrees, I know this for a fact and insha-Allah I will continue to to strive and recognize so as long as I am able. If I can continue to remember this, insha-Allah life in this dunyah won't be as hard to accept.

Keepin' busy

As-salaamu alaykum. How is everyone? Alhumdullilah, the boys and I are fine, just been crazy busy. Insha-Allah my husband will be home in a couple of days, so I've been preparing for his arrival. Can't wait, masha-Allah. I truly miss him and I am becoming more and more anxious as the days go buy. May Allah bless him with a safe, successful trip home, AAMEEN. While I've been busy, I have not forgotten about my fellow sisters in Islam an have therefore kept you all in my duas and will continue to insha-Allah. Luv u. Insha-Allah, I'll be back soon.


Random ayaat from the Quraan: "And My Mercy embraces all things." (7:156)

What a Day!

Well, I can definitely say that my appreciation for my husband has been increasing. These last couple of days have been really busy, masha-Allah. I am doing alot I'm not used to doing. I haven't payed bills and did the shopping on my own in a while. My husband usually accompanies me or does things himself while I handle the children. Its alot, masha-Allah but alhumdullilah this is good practice for me just in case Allah ever tests me with the extra responsibility.


So, today was another day where everything was non-stop. I had to stop at two banks , the check cashing place, the supermarket, walmart, picked up phones cards from a different palce, etc.. In the midst of it all, I locked the keys in the van. Now I'm irritated and frustrated. I had been in and out of my van about six or seven times already and when I get out to drop my 4 yr. old off at my mother's I locked the keys in the van and didn't realize it until I was on my way back out after praying and feeding the baby. Okay, so the keys are in the ignition locked in the van. What am I going to do, aaaahhh! So, I called my companion who I was supposed to be taking to walmart with me, her and her children. She tells me that it was the qadr and to calm down, and alhumdullilah her words truly helped. I was instantly calm, masha-Allah. So my sister and I rounded up a few tools; a couple of hangers, some hair pins, a nail clipper and a butter knife. and ready to do some damage (lol). Well actually she gathered them while I just stood thinking and pondering on how the heck I was going to explain this to my husband..........I wasn't! I had no phone, phonecard or money, everything was in the van. Anyways, while we are trying to get the door opened, this nice fellow rides pass us and then reverses back and asks,

"Are you locked out?". In which I quickly replied ,

"Yes!"

" I'll do it for you for ten dollars." he said. And he did, wal alhumdullilah I gave him twelve dollars and thanked him. Subhan-Allah it took him less than five minutes and there was no damage done to the van, masha-Allah. I was so thankful and happy. I wanted to jump up and give him a big hug and kiss, but then I would be taking it to far. So instead I made dua to Allah that he be guided to the sirautal mustai'keen. That would be better for him.

So there it is, one of my days out and about. WHEW(sigh),wal alhumdullilah for it all.

So Far, So Good

Masha-Allah, alhumdullilah. Everything is moving along smoothly while husband is away making Hajj. I do miss him though tremendously. I can only tell because I carry my cell every where I go even in the bed so just in case he calls or texts me I'm there to respond right away. I usually can never find my phone when I am in the house, but now I refuse to part with it.

The boys and I haven't been doing much just a few trips to and from the store for little things and that's about it. We did go visit my sister yesterday along with my Ummie. Insha-Allah I plan on taking them to the library 2morrow, they love the library, wal alhumdullilah. I also would like to go to the a museum, something interesting, educational and fun. I was thinking about having a sleepover for them and inviting a few of their companions over for a night of madness :O LOL. Boys can be very wild and crazy, trust me I know. Anyway I thought they would enjoy that. Anything halal and fun to keep them busy because their father is the one who usually wrestles and plays with them like they like it. I'm a little too fragile for that. Besides I am often exausted from the days work and would prefer to do peaceful, calming things together like read a book or do a puzzle or play tic-tac-toe, color etc. They like those type of activities as well but they love the roughness and excitement they get out of their father.

Maybe, just maybe I'll surprise them and pull out the the "daddy" suit and get wild and crazy a few nights a week, only for them ;)

He's off !!!

Al-humdullilah, my husband is off. May Allah accept his hajj, AAMEEN. The boys, G-Pop, co-wifey and I dropped him off at JFK airport. Traffic was wonderful. We made it back home safely, wal alhumdullilah. Suprisingly, I didn't cry. I kept myself together, gave him a nice big hug and kept on truckin'. I am so proud of myself, no mushy stuff. Okay, insha-Allah, I'll be back soon.